Merry Giftmas

Yeah...thats all.
Watching Adventure Time... Man it's cool.

Free for 3 weeks

And damn it feels good... The only good part about'em Holidays.
Also this pic made me die:

Depression..and cure

1)

2)                                                            Adventure Time

My art teacher is moving to Germany

And I'm really happy for her, because I know this is a huge chance, and I wouldn't like her to miss it...
I mean...I'd give anything to get as far as possible from Romania (and get my ass to Germany or something.).
I do have to confess I feel kinda sorry cause she helped me a lot during these 4 years and I really really like her... And I sure as hell will miss her.
Another bad part is that we don't know when a new art teacher will come to our school...And I don't wanna spend the rest of our school year doing only music. 'Ω'
Or when a new teacher comes...I hope he/she will be as good as this one...I mean, I don't want some indifferent fuck or some twat who will only talk about art history and do nothing with us talented kids. ಠΩಠ
So yeah...this kinda got me sad...
Well I wish her lots of luck. Damn I'll really miss her... ಠΩಠ

So I'm in the Debate Club.

In my school. Still a noobie, don't know the rules for shit. (I'm into a team of noobies. :D )
But it sounds fun and all that...Really, I saw a game today about becoming or not a vegetarian/ stopping people to eat meat. It was pretty cool, but they used vegetarian while talking about vegan (that kinda shows a small lack of documentation).
I feel kinda tired...also horribly bored lately...Can't wait for them holidays. 3 weeks of freedom, with no school and all that crap... Ow boy.
Also check out this badass video of ... Michael Gambon I assume (correct me if I'm wrong) dancing like a happy Dumbledore and Alan Rickman having one of the cutest smiles ever!

I recently realized.

That life is one of the most unfair things ever.
I mean. You're born, right? But you never asked for it...No, your parents just decide for you to exist (unfair much ). Then you start growing up, people start expecting shit from you (good grades, lots of work...etc.), and if you don't do all that shit they get pissed with you and make fits and make you feel like shit and tell you how you'll fail in life and how much you suck for being lazy and stupid and all that crap(I myself am the most lazy person I ever know. Its in my nature.).
 Then another fun part is when you can't stand to hurt yourself (I per example can't even sting myself with a needle...I just can't.) so suicide isn't an option. Therefore, you're stuck in this piece of shit life.
  And then they send your ass to a doctor cause you 'need help' because you don't love life. Just...Go fuck yourself. I never asked to be born, nor to live this crap, but hey, guess what? I can't do shit about it!
 So you end up all depressed and unable to end it all... (Also if you're unlucky to also be the ugly/untalented kid like me you'll get judged and bullied about that also.) With people thinking that you have mental problems because you don't see the world all pink.

There are many other stuff to say that are unfair about/in life...but that would simply take a lifetime (pfff xD ).
 So yeah... In conclusion, life is pretty much the most unfair shit I ever know. ಠΩಠ
 

So fuck my life.

Newest drawing.

Pretty happy with this sketch. But I still feel like I can do way better than this. ಠΩಠ

Click for full view. 

I feel sad.

Again... I feel useless , depressed, helpless and ashamed/disappointed of myself...
I have absolutely no idea why... I just get my 'emo' mode on and feel sad for weeks...then I feel well a couple of days and I turn sad again...
I sick and tired of it. I don't know if I'm going desperate or just numb.
And I really feel like talking with somebody about it, but I feel somewhat ashamed of talking about my problems... and trying to talk to my mum is useless since she'll make a bitch fit about me blaming her (sadly, I don't even blame her, I blame...I don't know...destiny? Fate?!). So yeah...talking with somebody from outside makes me feel bad and talking with somebody from inside will only cause fights... Wonderful.

I feel ugly.

I lack friends, talents, beauty, intelligence...I have/am nothing.

I'm sick of people telling me how I'm gonna end up a nobody and how fucked up I am... And how I don't have goals and how I don't care and how I don't have any feelings and how I suck at life...
I do have goals...small ones, yes...but I have them. I do care and have feelings...but the idea of showing them makes me feel horribly weak and vulnerable. And I hate that feeling.
I even feel stupid about complaining right now.
I wish I was somebody else...I don't feel like dying or anything like that...I'm scared of death, but I'm sick of my life also. I'd love if I could just metamorphose into a whole new interesting person...and leave the flawed me behind.
Or at least have something to be proud of...but I can't find shit to make me feel better. And funny enough, others can't find either...So that seems solid proof I have fuck all to make me special.
I only hope this is just a phase and shit will get better.

I'm currently getting doped on Otep. She always manages to make me feel better...Always.
Her music is the only painkiller that calms my pathetic spirit from suffering.
She saved my life so many times with her music... Tho I feel like I don't deserve that...since my being is so unimportant.


Fuck, I really need help...

First day as a lacto-ovo-vegetarian

Why did I turn vegetarian?
Well the other day I saw some really disturbing videos on PETA's website...And usually this stuff doesn't affect me very bad, but when I woke up this morning and went to eat something, I had some meat in the refrigerator...And I just simply couldn't eat it...There was this guilt feeling all around me ...like...if I eat that meat I'm a huge sinner. So I had some cheese.
I'm thinking of turning vegan in the future, but I know myself... So if I try to go straight from 'carnivore' to vegan I would probably fail...Big time...So better take one step at a time.
Well...wish me luck. ◕ ‿ ◕
And my mom still won't let me shave half of my head...*ffffffff*

Toothache...

Yep...thats all the news... This tooth of mine hurts like hell... :C
Also started reading "Sense and Sensibility" by Jane Austen and I really like it so far. :D
And..This picture filled me with joy:

Also this song is genius.